Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
