Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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