bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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