i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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