Its about making memories worth repressing
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
