Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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