Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
