Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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