I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
