Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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