"it" just moved
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
