He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
