so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
