my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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