Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
