yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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