why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
