It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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