for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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