"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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