i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Randomize
