Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
