Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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