do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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