I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize