I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize