I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
In other news, I just burned my penis
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
