we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
