I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
