O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
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