i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
