just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
