a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
