she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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