left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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