Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
