Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
