just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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