I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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