I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
