Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
cat food counts as protein by the way
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
