Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize