I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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