do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
