Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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