He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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