No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
