When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We had to coat check the pizza.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
