Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
