just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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