I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
