ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
