Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
