remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
