called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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