So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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