Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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