Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
