Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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