Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize