..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
