come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
